I Found Myself by Coming Home

I found myself by coming home : Skyline Dr Kingston, Jamaica

…“What story could someone who looks like you have to tell?”

My story, is about taking control amidst a childhood of molestation an perpetual pain. It depicts strength despite my identity being ripped from me and replaced with anxieties about the safety of my loved ones. It is about overcoming doubts of my ability to hold on to sanity and strength when panic tried to take over my life. As I faced the past I’d suppressed with gymnastics I was also relearning how to learn due to one too many concussive traumas. In having to step outside of the confines of my old self, I discovered a multifaceted new identity that allowed me to ween myself off of the crutch gymnastics had become. 

When nothing else was in my control my sport was the only thing in my life that was always constant. No one else affected my success or failure in the gym but me and what I chose to do with my body. In the gym I could use my anger to be great and my pain to be beautiful regardless, of my inability at the time to internalize that beauty outside of those walls. I knew I was intelligent, I knew I was strong,I knew that I was meant for something great, and still, because of my experience I thought I would always just be something to be used. 

My story It is about learning to love myself first. It is about taking ownership of my sexuality and how I carry and view myself while discovering my passion to empower. I am here to share with anyone who feels a sense of constant anxiety over the things they cannot control and solidify a notion that they simply need to decide they can and they will. Fear is a liar, limits are for the faint of heart, and dreams come true when you turn them into goals. This is a journey I will be on for the rest of my life, but God knows I’m better now than when I first began.

My story, is about becoming more than I once thought possible for a little island girl, though I felt it at my core. It is about reminding myself and those who look up to me as a coach, mentor, and sister to remember that your struggles cannot define you unless you allow them to. How you handle and grow from turmoil is what makes you small or great. Know, that victims do not become survivors by letting others stifle their right to be heard or by relying on others for validation. Find what moves you, take control of it on your terms and watch yourself grow. 

Nuff Love
- Zoya Yaseka
Photo Credz @iadeza on insta

Lifestyle THRIVE

THRIVE, is a lifestyle brand built around cultivating your best self and thus your best life. The brand was inspired initially by one of my best friends and her family's fight to overcome breast cancer not once but, now three times. I wanted to commemorate them and her with something special and thus the Logo Originally featured a pink breast cancer ribbon. When I thought about it however I wanted my ode to be less predictable and more meaningful. I thought about what I wanted THRIVE to stand for and it went beyond simply surviving a disease. By rallying around one another, being mindful of exercise and diet, taking the time to simply love each other, being faithful, and laughing with one another the Carrolls thrived. In short, it was a wholeness approach to health that made Aunty Tonya's recovery work each time. A concept that should be applied to everyone. It felt so simple. and yet it was the most profound. 

Once I came to this realization the rest started to manifest. For me THRIVE became the tangible form of moving to overcome all the trials of my life thus far. It was coming to terms with the anger and feelings of inadequacy that resulted from a childhood of molestation. It was acknowledging the way that pushed me to want to help more women find their voice. It was moving past a victim mindset, and holding on to the motivation I pulled from knowing how much my sisters look up to me. It was realizing much legacy meant to me and what that meant for my pursuit of success. It has been, finding myself when my drug of choice, gymnastics was no longer sufficient or an option to medicate. 

When gymnastics became the cause of my pain it also became the reason that I was forced to come face to face with all my years of suppressed emotion. Depression set in when I lost my drug.  Panic attacks, and an identity crisis ensued. In facing my demons when I was weak and looking to my new drugs of choice, fulfilling my purpose, I was able to begin figuring out who I was without gymnastics. In the midst of learning how to live with the residual effects of multiple concussions I was forced to learn patience with myself, which will be a life long journey for me. I also learned how important self love is and how much that affected my approach to who I surrounded myself with. I learned how important it is to me to spread an empowering and motivational message to anyone who feels a connection to my story, and started feeling compelled to share. 

My journey's obstacles are ever changing but the pursuit of health from a wholeness approach is constant. Figuring out how to heal pieces of me that were not tangible was the first step in the process. My healing has been not just that of a physical sense, but mental, emotional and spiritual as well. I've had to learn to understand my pain and take care of the root of the issues instead of the symptoms. Learning how to take care of and love myself has made me a better person, coach, and opened my eyes to the possibilities of pursuing my passions and what brings me fulfillment. By starting with self love, moving to healthy wholeness, and paying attention to what truly brings me happiness I feel as though my purpose has begun to present itself in the people and children I have had the privilege of meeting and working with. The passion I feel for this new found sense of self has continued to push me towards a constant state of discomfort in order to continually seek growth.

In a world where we pay attention to ourselves after the fact. Where we take pills to control the mistakes of our lifestyles, and even more for the side effects of the initial medications, we believe the only true prescription for life is to THRIVE. 

Whether or not our survival is based in diagnosis or circumstance, we believe the fight to become more than our disease and our struggles is only half the battle. Living in the truth of who we want to be is truly living, and in that truth we do so much more that survive, we THRIVE.

The THRIVE symbols represents becoming whole and connecting to purpose. It stands for strength, protection, healing and good fortune. Derived from the eye of Horus, which is the origin of the Rx symbol, our prescription for life is to THRIVE.

Nuff Love,

-Zoya Yaseka