I found myself by coming home : Skyline Dr Kingston, Jamaica
…“What story could someone who looks like you have to tell?”
My story, is about taking control amidst a childhood of molestation an perpetual pain. It depicts strength despite my identity being ripped from me and replaced with anxieties about the safety of my loved ones. It is about overcoming doubts of my ability to hold on to sanity and strength when panic tried to take over my life. As I faced the past I’d suppressed with gymnastics I was also relearning how to learn due to one too many concussive traumas. In having to step outside of the confines of my old self, I discovered a multifaceted new identity that allowed me to ween myself off of the crutch gymnastics had become.
When nothing else was in my control my sport was the only thing in my life that was always constant. No one else affected my success or failure in the gym but me and what I chose to do with my body. In the gym I could use my anger to be great and my pain to be beautiful regardless, of my inability at the time to internalize that beauty outside of those walls. I knew I was intelligent, I knew I was strong,I knew that I was meant for something great, and still, because of my experience I thought I would always just be something to be used.
My story It is about learning to love myself first. It is about taking ownership of my sexuality and how I carry and view myself while discovering my passion to empower. I am here to share with anyone who feels a sense of constant anxiety over the things they cannot control and solidify a notion that they simply need to decide they can and they will. Fear is a liar, limits are for the faint of heart, and dreams come true when you turn them into goals. This is a journey I will be on for the rest of my life, but God knows I’m better now than when I first began.
My story, is about becoming more than I once thought possible for a little island girl, though I felt it at my core. It is about reminding myself and those who look up to me as a coach, mentor, and sister to remember that your struggles cannot define you unless you allow them to. How you handle and grow from turmoil is what makes you small or great. Know, that victims do not become survivors by letting others stifle their right to be heard or by relying on others for validation. Find what moves you, take control of it on your terms and watch yourself grow.
- Zoya Yaseka
Photo Credz @iadeza on insta